Un eu distinct

Imi place sa sparg bariere, sa incarc cu suflet umilinta si sa imi extind granitele ca niste aripi argintate cu universalitate si indraneala de a o lua vesnic de la capat de fiecare data cand am reusit un pas - mare sau mic; oricat de mic.

Identity crisis

To my friends who talk about identity.

I am Romanian. Like many of my Romanian friends, I don't live in Romania. Romania and its history lives in me.

I have all sorts of Romanian "palls" around me. Most  - even those who have lived here many more years than they lived in Romania - still call themselves "Romanians", first (and "Americans", second). I do know those few who think they are "different than the other Romanians".
To them I say: you are who you feel you are. But if you don't have a sense of your own identity anymore, the only thing you can be is: LOST.

Denisa

Do you understand love?

Do you understand love?
'Cause I can't really get a grasp on it...
Do you know what makes this heart beat?
What made me fall in love and never quit?

I finally get up each time I'm hit
And any new beginning feels unfit
It seems unfair to hope, and give and tame
Just to fall down in pieces once again.

I do things that I never thought I'd do,
And secretly I fear it's "too good to be true";
I can't stop thinking of the way it felt
Each time you kissed me, held me, made me melt.

We wrote the story of an unfair war
That history will never note us for
And after all the drama and the clash
Thought we were strong enough to rise from ash.

How does it come so easily to you
To not care about (all the) things I do for you?
I never thought I'd ever want to learn
To be immune to you and to say "No"
Yet, here I am forgotten and confused
It's hard to fight the feeling I’ve been used.

For all the wasted moments left it seems
Are only memories and hopeless dreams.
You were the one who, once, showed me the way
To happiness and love in every way.
I trusted you and made you all that mattered,
Longed for you like a child who's seeking shelter.

We wrote the story of an unfair war
That history will never note us for
And after all the drama and the clash
Thought we were strong enough to rise from ash.

I'm ready to forgive cause I am lost
And wandering the streets like I'm ghost.
With you I had a purpose, life made sense
Now everything is empty, left to chance.
 
 Who are the lucky ones who find their mate?
I'm just a casualty of love and hate.
I carry all the heartbreak in my heart
And hope I'll manage not to fall apart.

I loved you like I never thought I'd do...
You weren't meant to be the one I'd fall prey to;
I had an empty gaze, hands at my chest
When your eyes pierced into mine as you left.

We wrote the story of an unfair war
That history will never note us for
And after all the drama and the clash
Thought we were strong enough to rise from ash(es).

Denisa Dobrin - February 15, 2012

Inspired by (and dedicated to) Hooman Vassef. 
Sometimes, all one can do is love, even if they are not loved in return.

Child of this world

I'm the lonely, sad child

Of this cynical world

Where the love demands payment

And true friendship is gone.

Often I wonder why people are cold

As I feel myself turning 

Piece by piece into stone

Setting aside who I am for a dream,

That I'm not even wanting,

But somehow fits some need…

Wish I lived for myself, 

Not for somebody else;

But I'm eager for love,

Some acceptance of sorts

Watching these people all around me

Some who will friend me,

Some who will be mean...

Do I just close my heart to avoid all the pain?

It's so random what happens,

The stories we live...

Yet it's all set in order 

And we know how it ends.

May it be bliss and glory

Or heartache, or hate,

We're all acting this story,

Play our part ‘till the end.

I'm the one that is dragging

I'm the one that breaks loose

I'm the one that can't stand this

I'm the one that feels used

Do we all treasure drama?

Love as much as we hate?

I feel distant and major

I'm above and beyond

As I look down the coldness 

Of some ignorant Gods

They are ants that had power,

Puppeteers of my soul,

For I granted them wisdom

Made them feel they’re above;

I allowed them to rule me

Shared with them all I'm worth.

I'm the cynical  child 

Of this lonely, sad world.

                                    (Denisa Dobrin) 11/1/2011